


What's In A Kiss?

by Miko



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-25
Updated: 2006-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-21 09:40:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cielo's just being a good comrade. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's In A Kiss?

Though the endless rain had stopped at last, the wind had picked up as if to compensate for it. The whirlwind in the sky that centred on the Karma Temple was almost hypnotic to watch, but it left a sick feeling of dread in the pit of Heat's stomach. It meant they were on their way to Nirvana, right? So shouldn't the sight of it have made him happy?

Pacing the length of the rooftop, Heat tried to work off the nervous, angry energy that had been driving him crazy since... since... well, since the strange lights had come and left the demons and chaos in their wake. But it was even worse, now. Too many things had changed. Too many things had gone wrong. And the more Heat fought to make it right again, the worse it all seemed to get.

Now the lack of rain was steadily eating away at what little patience and control he had left. Even in their underground rooms in the Embryon's original base, even in the deepest parts of the Solid's Citadel, he'd somehow always been aware of the constant presence of the rain. It was more than just a sound; it was a smell, a feel in the air, a _sense_ that never left. They'd all wondered what it would be like if the rain stopped - well, as much as they'd wondered anything, in their unthinking acceptance of The Way Life Was before the lights came. But it had never occurred to Heat that he would _miss_ the rain, that the lack of it would make him feel like the world had turned on its end and nothing would ever be okay again.

Heat had been happy, once. Or content, at least. He was pretty sure of that much. Serph had been a good leader. The Embryon had been small but strong, and steadily growing in importance among the tribes of the Junkyard. Heat had been one of its lieutenants, one of the people helping Serph to make them great, and that had been more than enough for him.

Then the lights had come, and Sera with them, and everything had gone to Hell. Or maybe this was already Hell, and they'd just been woken to the fact. Either way, Heat felt like he would never be content again, let alone happy.

Sera. Gods, could he have fucked that up any more if he'd tried? He wasn't sure just what the hell he'd been trying to do when he'd grabbed her like that, but he was pretty sure it _wasn't_ supposed to end with the girl in tears and refusing to meet his eyes ever again. Whatever instinct had made him do it, made him - kiss her? Was that the right word? - he wished it had never occurred to him.

Because the worst of it was that _he_ had enjoyed it, had revelled in the feel of her soft body against his, her trembling lips under his. He wanted to feel it again, badly. Only without the tears and the pulling away next time. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. Not ever. He wanted to _protect_ her.

Swearing under his breath, Heat turned and rammed his forehead into the wall of the stairway that went back down into the building. Pain exploded in his skull, but he welcomed it to help him chase away the thoughts that were driving him mad. Maybe if he could just focus on the concrete, the physical, he could stop _thinking_ so much.

"Well, dat was stupid. Looked like it hurt, too." Glancing up, Heat saw Dyaus hovering overhead, looking down at him with an unreadable expression. Cielo had taken to spending quite a bit of time in his demon form, circling the base on 'patrol'. Heat supposed he couldn't blame the guy. If he'd been able to fly, he'd have been up in the air at every opportunity, too.

"You _think_?" Heat snarled, spoiling for a fight and more than willing to pick one with the nearest available person. Everything was so much simpler when he was a demon. You fought, you devoured, end of story. Agni didn't get the urge to walk around on rooftops brooding and beating himself up. That was entirely Heat's issue. He could activate his mark, let the virus take him over and forget about everything else...

But Dyaus had landed and was already fading, leaving only Cielo in his place. Anyway as frustrated as Heat was, and without Sera there to sing and calm them, they'd end up killing each other and that wasn't actually what he wanted. Damn it. He couldn't even have a _fight_ without all kinds of consequences anymore.

"You gotta learn to _relax_ , brudda," Cielo told him, shaking his head and making the beads in his braids clink together softly. "Too bad you can't fly. Everytin' seems so small from up dere, includin' your problems. I could take you up?" He gestured at the sky, eyebrows raised in question.

Heat looked at him like he was crazy. "Agni weighs at least twice what Dyaus does, you'd never get off the ground. And if you think I'm going anywhere near your demon when I'm human and Sera's not around..."

Grimacing, Cielo acknowledged the idiocy of that. "Yeah, I guess dat would be even stupider den hittin' your head against de wall. What's got you so worked up, huh?"

For a moment Heat wanted to snap at him that it was none of his damn business, but keeping everything to himself hadn't accomplished anything but driving him mad so far. "I don't know. Everything," he ground out, turning to lean back against the wall and pressing his palms over his eyes. "How can you be so... so..."

"Relaxed?" Cielo suggested, his voice amused. Sure enough when Heat looked up he had a smile on his face, but it was an oddly wry one. "Somebody's gotta be, 'cause you sure aren't. Like I said. Maybe I be relaxin' for de bot' of us?"

Looking away, Heat stared out at the Karma Temple as if he could will the truth to appear before him. It was better than looking at Cielo, because he seriously wanted to punch the guy for not caring that everything was going wrong. Or at least seeming not to. He hadn't always been this irritating, but they'd both changed. Had he been this irritating 'before'?

Even so, Cielo was one of the people Heat had told Serph he wanted with him in Nirvana, and he'd meant it. Whatever the connection was between the group of them, it was a strong one.

"Seriously, mon," Cielo said, coming closer and laying a hand on Heat's shoulder. "Someting's been eatin' at you since we rescued Sera. More dan de usual, I mean. What's goin' on?"

Great. If _Cielo_ had noticed, then _everyone_ knew. Jerking away from his touch, Heat started pacing again, his eyes on his feet and his fists clenched tight. He didn't want to admit what had happened. No, that didn't cover it. He _desperately_ did not want to admit what he'd done, because he _knew_ it had been wrong somehow and the others would be angry with him. He'd made Sera cry, and he wasn't sure but he thought she might be a little scared of him now, and that broke his heart.

Emotions. It all came down to bloody emotions. Sometimes he thought Gale had the right of it, clinging to his emotionless state as long as possible. Emotions made everything so fucking complicated.

"Do you know what a kiss is?" he asked abruptly. Maybe he'd done it wrong, or forgotten something. Maybe Cielo, who seemed to like everyone and hardly ever got upset at anything, could tell him how to fix it.

"A kiss? What's dat?" A glance at Cielo showed that he had a blank look on his face, and Heat sighed. Now he was going to have to explain. Just great. He should have kept his damn mouth shut.

"It's... when you put your mouth against someone else's," he tried to describe it awkwardly, gesturing helplessly with his hands. "And you can use your tongues, I think. But not to eat," he added hastily, because these days that was an important qualification.

"Sounds kinda gross," was Cielo's opinion, but he had a frown on his face like he was trying to remember something. "Why would you wanna do dat?"

"Because it feels good," Heat growled, frustrated with his own inability to explain properly. "I don't know. You just do. It's... it's instinct, that's all."

"Huh." Cielo still sounded doubtful, but more like he couldn't imagine it than like he didn't believe Heat. "I dunno, mon. Still sounds gross." He tilted his head, considering it for a moment. "Show me?"

"What?" Stopping dead in his tracks, Heat stared at him. Cielo hadn't actually just suggested that Heat kiss him, had he? He sure as hell couldn't think of any other way to demonstrate.

Kissing Cielo would _not_ be the same as kissing Sera, Heat was sure of that much even though he couldn't really say why exactly. And he had this niggling suspicion that it wasn't something you were supposed to do with another guy. That was stupid, though. Mouths were mouths, what difference did it make whether the body they were attached to was male or female? Maybe if he tried it with Cielo he could figure out what he'd done so badly with Sera, and if he ever got a chance to try again he could fix it.

Swallowing to try to wet his inexplicably dry throat, Heat moved to stand closer to Cielo. His comrade just stood watching him expectantly, waiting for Heat to show him what a kiss was. Trying to remember exactly what he'd done with Sera, Heat reached out to take the other man by the arms.

He'd held on too tightly to Sera, that was one of the things he did know he'd done wrong. He'd hurt her, probably left bruises, and that wasn't how it was supposed to go. So he was careful with his grip on Cielo, and it helped that the other man was standing patiently instead of fighting him.

Leaning in, Heat put his mouth over Cielo's. It felt... odd, mostly, not like the bolt of fire that had run through him when he kissed Sera. Unwilling to just give up, he persisted, moving his mouth over Cielo's and even parting his lips slightly. That felt better, and from the startled noise Cielo made and the way he shivered suddenly, Heat thought maybe he was getting it right. He stared into the other man's blue eyes from inches away, and it was nearly as hypnotizing as watching the winds around the Temple.

Cielo parted his lips as well, and the kiss became wet instead of dry. Suddenly it felt a lot more personal, and some of that same fire was gathering low in Heat's body. He pressed closer, pushing the other man back against the wall, and without thinking about it he ran his tongue over Cielo's lips to taste them.

Making another noise deep in his throat, Cielo brought his hands up to grab at Heat's arms as well. Afraid the other man was going to push him away like Sera had, Heat jerked back quickly. He'd have broken contact entirely, but instead of pushing him away Cielo refused to let him go.

"Why'd you stop?" Cielo demanded, looking a little dazed. He was breathing too fast, like he'd been fighting or running. Seeing that made Heat realize that he was doing the same thing, though he couldn't have said why.

"I thought... you're not going to start crying and get upset with me?" Heat asked warily, not trusting this apparent willingness to continue on Cielo's part. The last thing he needed was another of his comrades avoiding him. Not that he could picture Cielo crying the way Sera had been, but you never knew.

He'd said too much though, and understanding dawned in Cielo's eyes. "You kissed Sera an' she didn't like it?" he guessed. "So dat's what happened! Didn't ask her first, huh?"

Growling, Heat tried to pull away, angry that he'd been caught out. Cielo hung on, and while he wasn't anywhere near as physically powerful as Heat, he was stronger than he looked. More than strong enough to keep him there unless Heat was willing to risk really hurting him, which he wasn't. Not yet.

"Hey, don' get angry wit' me just 'cause I figured it out," Cielo chided him. "Goin' off to sulk somewhere else won't help none!"

"You're not mad at me?" Heat asked, a little bewildered. He'd been so sure the others would be angry with him for what he'd done. He was certainly angry enough with himself. "But I..."

"Hell, brudda, ain't none of us can tell up from down dese days," Cielo interrupted him with a sigh. "You learned your lesson, ya? You asked me first. Or waited for me t'ask, I guess." He smiled. "Ain't sayin' it was a good ting to do, an' you should prob'ly apologize to Sera when we find her, but it ain't de end of de world."

A small bit of the weight that Heat had been carrying around with him fell away, and it was actually a little easier to breathe. Not that he thought the others would necessarily be as forgiving as Cielo, and he suspected Serph in particular wouldn't take it well if he ever found out what had happened, but the fact that _anyone_ could forgive him meant it wasn't a complete disaster.

"I guess," he acknowledged, trying not to show just how relieved he was. "Uh. You can let go now," he added when Cielo showed no signs that he was going to do so.

The other man's smile turned sly. "Why?" he asked, obviously trying for an innocent tone but failing because of the look on his face. "I liked dat. An' practice can't hurt, right? I bet dere's more to it den just dat, too. Let's find out, ya?"

Suspiciously Heat poked at that, trying to find the holes in the logic and failing. He still had a nagging feeling that he wasn't supposed to be doing this with Cielo, but what was he going to do? Go ask Argilla? Not bloody likely. And it _had_ felt good, just not the sort of consuming need that had driven him to do it with Sera in the first place.

"Okay," he agreed, and Cielo's eyes lit up. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Heat stopped him by the simple expedient of kissing him again. As a method of silencing someone, he thought with a bit of amusement, it was pretty effective.

This time they started out with their mouths parted, and Cielo licked at him eagerly. Heat growled and shoved at the other man's tongue with his own, and that started a sort of duelling war that Heat thought shouldn't have felt half as good as it did. He pressed Cielo back against the wall again, leaning into the other man with his body to keep him pinned there, and releasing his arms to put his hands against the wall on either side of Cielo's shoulders instead.

Belatedly he reminded himself that he shouldn't be so rough, that he was trying not to leave bruises this time. But it was so hard to think through that slow flow of heat that suffused his body, and Cielo didn't seem to be objecting. Heat decided to just go with it and back off when and if Cielo told him to.

Pushing his tongue past Cielo's, he explored the inside of the other man's mouth curiously. The little noises Cielo kept making whenever Heat found a particularly sensitive spot were addicting, and he did his best to get more of them. Then Cielo managed to work his tongue between Heat's teeth and lips, and Heat figured out _why_ the other man kept making those noises.

Fire shot through him, like lightning tearing through his body and ending at his groin. Odd things were happening to his body and under other circumstances he might have been concerned, but at the moment he couldn't spare the attention to worry. It felt good, that was all he cared about, even though it ached at the same time.

Shifting, he got one of his thighs between Cielo's and forced the other man's legs apart, pressing even closer so the new hardness in his body was rubbing against Cielo's hip. That felt so unbelievably good that Heat was forced to break the kiss to gasp for air, feeling as dazed as Cielo had looked earlier.

Whimpering at the sudden loss of contact, Cielo clutched at him and rocked his hips up, moving his body so he was almost sitting on Heat's thigh. That let him press against Heat's hip the same way Heat had just been doing to him, and it was obvious even through their pants that Cielo was just as hard there as Heat had gotten.

Now they were rocking together in a ragged rhythm that felt almost inevitable, as if they couldn't have stopped it if they'd tried. Not that Heat wanted to try, gods no. Not when it felt so fucking good to grind against Cielo, and the feel of the other man hard against him was as arousing as the earlier kissing had been.

Arousing, yes, that was the word for how this felt. Arousal, and passion. Maybe emotions weren't all bad, if they included things like _this_. Heat groaned and dropped his hands to Cielo's waist, trying to direct the pace so they were actually moving together instead of just shoving against each other.

"Nng, Heat," Cielo panted, and he looked almost drugged when Heat managed to focus on him. He had his head tipped back against the wall, exposing the column of his throat, and that was just too much temptation for Heat to resist. He dipped his head again and ran his mouth over the bare flesh, wringing an entirely new pitch of moans out of Cielo.

For a moment Heat was afraid that the urge to use his teeth as well as his lips might be Agni showing through, but he wasn't craving the taste of blood the way he usually did when his demon got hungry. Deciding it was safe enough to experiment, he scraped his teeth against the tendons of Cielo's neck and earned himself a startled noise that almost made him pull back, thinking he'd gone too far.

Before he could move, Cielo shifted his hands to Heat's shoulders, holding him right where he was as if Cielo had anticipated that his reaction might be interpreted the wrong way. Heat wasn't sure, but he thought the ragged moan escaping the other man now might be a mostly incoherent chorus of 'please, please, please', and that was more than enough encouragement for him.

He did it again, then bit down hard enough to really be felt. Cielo cried out and jerked against him, shuddering. Sucking at the mark he'd made, Heat savoured the taste of the other man in a way that had nothing to do with devouring him.

Then Cielo retaliated in a completely unexpected way, dropping one hand and worming it between them to cup against Heat's hardness. The startled shout Heat made was muffled against his neck, but now it was his turn to shudder and thrust his hips forward. Cielo squeezed, and Heat's responding moan came out more than a little strangled.

"Do that again," Heat demanded when Cielo drew his hand away again. "Damn it, Cielo..."

"Workin' on it," Cielo replied breathlessly, giving him a grin that held equal parts passion and recklessness. "Dese pants're too damn tick... dere!" He'd fumbled Heat's fly open and gotten his hand inside, and the feel of his fingers curled around Heat directly blew everything that had happened so far completely out of the water.

Growling, Heat pushed him hard against the wall, hard enough that the rough concrete would probably leave marks on Cielo's back even through his shirt, but they were both beyond caring. Biting down on the other man's neck again, Heat reached for Cielo as well, figuring it was only fair for him to give Cielo the same mind-shattering pleasure he was getting.

Somehow he managed to get his hand inside the other man's pants and around his cock without ripping any clothing, though in his impatience it was a near thing. Now they were moving together again, stroking hard and rocking against each other as well, their hands pressed tight between their bodies. Heat had a vague notion that this would feel even better without the damn clothes in the way, but there was no way he was stopping long enough to find out. And if Cielo tried, Heat might just kill him.

The fire was rising inside him, building to the point where he was sure his body couldn't possibly contain it any longer. Cielo was trembling against him, keening high in the back of his throat in a way Heat could _feel_ vibrating against his lips, and his other hand was clutching at Heat's shoulder hard enough to leave a few bruises of his own. The shaking turned to spasms, and as Cielo cried out Heat's hand was suddenly covered in hot liquid.

Some sort of point of no return was reached, and Heat felt the muscles in his body tensing as something snapped inside him. His cock twitched in Cielo's hand, and it felt like Heat was emptying some part of _himself_ over the other man's fingers. Breathing hard, he lifted his mouth from Cielo's neck so he could gasp for air, resting his forehead against the wall beside Cielo's head.

Long moments passed as neither of them moved, trying to recover from whatever had just happened. Heat felt a sense of satisfaction spread through him, and he wasn't nearly as tense as he had been before. He wasn't sure he trusted the effect to last, but gods he was going to enjoy it while it did.

"Dat was... wow," was Cielo's somewhat nonsensical comment when he finally broke the silence. "I tink I like dis kissin' ting."

"I think that went a little beyond kissing," Heat countered, and his voice came out even rougher than it usually did. He lifted his head wearily, and found a look of satiated pleasure in Cielo's blue eyes and a smile on his face that would have been entirely too smugly satisfied, except that Heat suspected he was wearing a similar expression.

"Ya, but kissin' is where it started," Cielo pointed out, his smile widening. "Mmm. I tink I be sore later, but damn it was wort' it." He stretched lazily, and though Heat missed the feel of his hand when he pulled it away, it was worth the loss to get to watch Cielo stretch like that. There was something about the motion that made Heat think it might have made him feel overheated again if he wasn't so thoroughly wrung out already.

Taking a deep breath, he released his hold on Cielo and stepped back. The other man looked... there was a word for it, Heat was sure, he just couldn't think of it. Leaning against the wall with that smile on his face, his pants open and his cock and lower stomach coated with sticky white gobs. Regardless of what the word was, it made the breath catch in Heat's throat, and he wondered if he looked half that good to Cielo. There was something very satisfying in knowing he was responsible for putting the other man in that state.

From the look in Cielo's eyes, he suspected the feeling was mutual. A little self-conscious, Heat wiped his hand off on the already soiled fabric of his underwear, then fixed his clothes. Cielo was doing the same, somewhat to Heat's disappointment, but he couldn't exactly ask the other man to stay in that position forever. Now matter how appealing the thought was.

Of course, he could always just put Cielo _back_ in that position, later. Heat didn't think he'd ever want Cielo as badly as he'd wanted Sera, but... well, he didn't _have_ Sera, did he? There couldn't be anything wrong with practicing with a willing partner in the meantime. And he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this relaxed.

"That was good, but I bet there's still more," he ventured cautiously, not sure whether this had been a one-time offer. Judging by the way Cielo's eyes lit up at his words, he thought probably not.

"Ya. Any time you want to practice, you come find me," Cielo told him. "I be happy to help a brudda in need."

"And get nothing out of it for yourself, of course," Heat commented, his voice wry. Cielo just shrugged and his grin widened.

"Hey, at least I finally got you to relax," the other man said cheerfully. "An' it was it's own reward. Can't blame me for wantin' more if I can get it. Dat was some seriously good shit we were doin'."

He stepped to the edge of the roof and his demon mark pulsed, the lines of the change crawling up to overtake his body. A moment later Dyaus was there, shaking his head as if to clear it, wings angled to balance his light body against the strong winds. Heat kept a cautious eye on him, but Agni felt so thoroughly sated he imagined Dyaus was probably the same.

"I'll see you 'round," Dyaus said, cocking his head to one side like a bird. "An' one of dese days I'll get you up in de air wit' me, ya? When Sera's around so you don' feel so nervous." He smiled, an expression that looked feral and predatory on the demon's face, and stepped back off the roof. A moment later he rose back into sight, spiralling upwards on a rising thermal current.

Heat watched him go, leaning back against the wall where he'd had Cielo pressed just minutes before. He'd lost the driving need to pace, and the lack of rain wasn't even bothering him any more. He smiled to himself. He didn't always appreciate them, but he had good comrades... friends. He had good friends.


End file.
